The Enforcer's Thoughts
by miusho
Summary: A story that takes place a few days after the end of the movie. Akane, who keeps all her emotions and sadness of the leaving of Kougami again finally opens up to the person she never thought she will be close with. Ginoza-centric. Slight GinozaXAkane. Cover image belongs to the artist.


**The Enforcer's Thoughts**

 _ **DISCLAIMER:**_

I do not own Psycho Pass and all of its characters, but I do own the plot of this fanfiction.

 ** _A/N:_**

This is my first time writing a fanfiction, so please be nice! I appreciate each of your reviews, so if you find mistakes or misspells, please let me know. Also it would be nice to know if any of you enjoy or dislike the story. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu, minna-san!

About the ship, it's Ginoza x Akane, but it's nothing serious. My main OTP is still Kougami x Akane! And by the way, this is placed on a few days after the movie ending, after they came back to the bureau and continued their daily whatsoever activites.

 _Enjoy!_

She has never been a person who lets her emotions show. She is the type that would try so hard to hide her tears and cover them with a bright smile. The smile that is and will always be an endearment to me. A smile that is so powerful it hides a thousand weeps. A smile that is unfortunately have never be able to be seen lately.

Tsunemori Akane is a strong woman. Not to mention her unbelievable changing progress lately. She turned from a fragile cute rookie girl into a strong-willed bad-ass woman. But so they say, time changes people. Just like how incredible her change from time to time ever since her cornerstone went away and left her alone.

I pat my beloved Dime's head and pour his dinner into his plate. I watched silently as I see him eating excitedly; as if food and my presence are the only two things that matter in the world to him, which is probably true since he's only a dog. His emotions are based only happiness or sadness, unlike a human with vast range of emotions. Like me, for now. I have no idea what I feel? Desolated? Mad? Miserable? I don't know. I'm just living my life, unpassionate about anything in particular.

Well, except for that one thing that I would never dare mention.

I sit on the couch, sipping my coffee which I only like when it's black. My mind flies into a certain inspector, along with all the things that happened lately in the SEAUN. Kougami Shinya went away. Again. Leaving Tsunemori alone. Again. I can replay my last moment with Tsunemori in the SEAUN again and again, with me saying that Kougami is not worthy of her attention anymore, which I think it's true.

How could Kougami be this stupid? Or did he do that on purpose? He's such a genius man, but I can't stand how clueless he seems to be when it is about his personal feelings. Anybody could tell the eyes of Tsunemori that they radiate longing to meet her muse, her Kougami-san. The way she smokes Kougami's beloved Spinel cigarettes on her spare time, the way she zones out every time in solving a case and comes back with a Kougami-like summaries. Everything she does lately signifies that she misses Kougami. As if leaving her on a oat field alone, disappointed of Kougami's choice of becoming a murderer is not enough; he left Tsunemori once more in the SEAUN after years of not meeting her. Just like that. Tsunemori is a strong woman, everybody knows that. But the fact that her eyes lost their rays of brightness means that she is fragile inside, like a flower slowly losing all its once beautiful blossoming petals.

I shrug. I look at my metal left arm and quickly reminded of the day I lost someone who matters the world to me. It is a mistake that I would never wish to repeat. A mistake of realizing everything I've had once I've lost it. A mistake that results in me bearing the pain of remorse and regret. Wondering "what ifs" all the time every day. What if I wasn't too late? What if I was more careful? I could make hundreds of plans to avoid the one result that I dislike the most, but it's useless now that it's in the past.

Which is why I do not want to repeat my mistake again. After years of bearing my pain alone in the darkness, I finally find a ray of sunshine that brings back a smile to my face. A ray of sunshine in the form of short brown-haired woman named Tsunemori Akane. I will not bear to let her out of my reach, which I dare not to think the aftermath of losing her if it is to happen in my life. Tsunemori changed me. The way she thinks, the way she speaks, the way she lifts her spirit, the way her hue is never clouded even during the darkest time, the way she stays calm in almost every chance. The way she does everything fascinates me. She was once a woman full of spirit, and that spirit is gone along with Kougami's disappearance once more.

To me, Kougami ruined her and that makes him ruining my little joy not directly. I know if Kougami is here, I would never compete with him in any way. Tsunemori loved, loves, and will love Kougami, for that I am sure. And the way Kougami left her just like that angered me and is unacceptable to me. Even if I cannot be with her, I want her to be happy. And her happiness flew away and I don't know how to make her happy.

How arrogant of me, thinking that I could bring a spark of happiness into her life. I have zero chance of being with her. No matter how I loved her so much, she has loved someone else. I told her that Kougami is unworthy of her attention, but I still see her blowing smoke of Kougami's favorite cigarette, spacing out and looking into the sky. I have no intention to know about what she is thinking, but it would probably not far from the presence of a certain spiky raven haired guy.

Good, Ginoza, now you are deeply frustrated. It's a wonder how a mind can break my whole body apart, and letting it move without my command. I find myself reaching for my wristband and dialing Tsunemori's number. I long to hear her voice and I cannot stop myself. I almost press the "call" button when a knock on the door stops me.

I walk halfway to the door until I realize I am shirtless. I grab a sleeveless white t-shirt and put it on, leaving my now long hair on my shoulders, then walking into the door, grab the handle, and open the door, and almost have a heart attack.

It is my little ray of sunshine, Tsunemori, standing there with a half-rolled sleeve white shirt, looking at me with her huge brown eyes.

"Um, good evening, Ginoza-san," She stares at me. "Can I, uh, come in?"

I just realized that I stared at her in a full five seconds without moving. "Oh, yeah, please come in." I shut the door on her back and walk behind her.

She looks at Dime and give him a pat on the head. Dime licks her hand and she giggled.

"So," I begin the conversation. "What brings you here?"

She's still looking at Dime, smiling, and says, "Well, there is a few things I would like to discuss to you, Ginoza-san. About the late case."

The late case? Which late case? It sounds clumsy but I forget everything work-related while still looking at her.

She realizes that I'm still silent and she turns her back, facing me. "The case about the late attacking of women in the suburban districts. You remember, right?"

I come back to my mind. "Oh yeah," I say. "That one."

Some women have been reporting to the bureau that they are attacked while walking in the suburbs. No one with clouded Psycho Pass detected nearby, so it must be a doing of someone who is either an abnormal or perfectly calm person. It is nothing big to me actually, since none of the women is actually deep hurt. But all of them have the same reports. They said that the masked man that caught them all hit them first and lock their joints with a martial art move that doesn't let the victim move. It was painful, according to them, but no more beatings further happened. The masked man then examined the women by touching their hair, checking their eyes' color, sniffing them, and looking straight into their eyes. The victims reported that the masked man's eyes are sharp and paralyzing, but none of them knew what the color of his eyes are. After examining the woman, he then left them and gone, fast.

Tsunemori sits on the couch. "Would you like some tea, or coffee, or water, or anything?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "No, thanks, Ginoza-san."

I take a position across her on the couch. "So, what is that thing that you would like to discuss with me? About the case?"

She opens a few files on her wrist band while saying to me, "Well, firstly I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you." She looks at me. "I mean, it's 09.47 PM and I'm coming to your room, disturbing your peace or anything."

I laughed dryly. "Not at all, Inspector," I say. "It is a pleasure to have a company in a lonely night, anyway."

She smiles, but her eyes look tired. "Good, then. I just can't get some things out of my mind and I need to talk to someone about this, so you are my first choice."

I can feel my blood rush. "Oh, really?" I finally answer. "But what are you doing in the bureau in this hour? Shouldn't you be home hours ago?"

She shifts back into her opened files, "Well, there are just some things that I have to finish."

I stare at the coffee table. "So, what's it about?"

"I think that," She begins her explaining. "The attacker might be looking for a woman in particular. According to the reports, he only attacks short haired 20s woman. And according to the interviews, I think that he is looking for some office working woman, since all the women he attacked wear suits on the night they were caught. It also a probability that he is a person who is able to control his hue by staying calm, because the women told me that he is neither looks vicious or rushed. He might have just looking for a woman who lives nearby and his Psycho Pass stays normal because he thinks that his method of looking for that woman is normal. I also assume that he is not from the big city, because he practiced martial arts, which is an incredible rarity nowadays, but perhaps it is not in the small outer towns. I don't know about that though, I'm not out of the city often."

She is still swiping the files on her wristband when she lifts her head and look at me, "What do you think, Ginoza-san?"

"I, Uh," My brain is processing all of the explanation she gave me but somehow a big part of my brain only signaling that she looks so cute when serious, while the other part makes me feel a little pang of uneasiness because of how she sounds a bit too much like Kougami now.

I clear my throat and try my best to look serious. "You got a point there," I say. "I also think that he may be a fetishist or something, and a very detailed person too. He could be suffering Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or stuffs like that. But the fact that he left all of the victims might mean that he hasn't find the one he's looking for and chances are he will keep doing this attacking."

Tsunemori looks at me, then narrows her eyes. "Right, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I will try to find something about that..." Her voice fades as she looks for another thing in between her files.

I continue, "Do we have his identity? Or his face? Any word from Karanomori?"

She shakes her head lightly, "Umm, no. Shion-say said that the security camera nearby doesn't have any clear view on him, nor his voice, or anything else. Even though there are many security cameras there."

"So he's smart." I say firmly. "He somehow manages to catch a blind-spot from all the security cameras."

"Uh-huh." Tsunemori says, still keeping her eyes locked on her files. "But we have a view on his back. He is probably 180 cm tall. Other than that we have no lead."

"Right." I say. Her brain is probably processing in light speed because she looks so focused.

"I don't know," She says after a 15-second pause. "It's been a long time since anyone has a psychological disorder like OCD."

After saying that, she continues her search on her files. I wonder what she has been doing for hours alone upstairs. The other inspectors or enforcers had been home since hours ago. If I had known she was still upstairs, I might've just gone there and accompany her. If she wants my company. She would probably imagines Kougami there, talking about cases or whatsoever...

I push that thought out of my head. I don't need more distractions. Tsunemori needs another human being to discuss case with and I have to be the right human being.

But my mind is on the other side of this room. My mind wanders to how she looks when asleep, what is her favorite thing to do on leisure time, what is her favorite color, and so many other philosophical questions that don't matter now. I try to shove all that thoughts away but I can't. I keep coming back into thinking what in the world is this girl in front of me feeling after all that happens. And my mind can't stop thinking about a particular guy who is responsible in making her feels this way.

Before my brain can process what I'm about to say, my mouth speaks in a loud and clear voice. "Tsunemori-kanshikan, do you miss Kougami?"

She freezes. Her eyes still locked on the files she is seeing, but she freezes. She asks in a little voice, "Why did you ask, Ginoza-san?"

"N-Nothing," I almost stutter. "It's just, I want to know how you actually feel about everything that happens around you. I mean, you are so calm and your Psycho Pass' hue is never clouded−"

"And I always seem heartless and cold because I don't react to depression like other human beings do?" She looks at me with those big tired brown eyes. "And you worry about me?"

"Well, yeah." I say shortly.

She looks down on her lap and says in a very soft voice, "But that doesn't mean that I feel nothing."

Deep silence for around thirty seconds.

"Y-Yes," She finally says. Still looking down. "I do miss him, if that answers your question."

"Oh, well," I say. I don't know what else to say.

"But I can't help but feel angry." She says, now in a deep and firm voice. "What is that guy thinking? He just practically leaves everything behind and runaways. It makes him sound like a coward but he's not. He's... Difficult, I guess."

"Well, Tsune−"

"I don't want to meet him."

It strikes me all of a sudden. "You don't want to meet him? Never again?"

She laughs a small laugh. "No, Ginoza-san, I didn't say that. I don't want to meet him, at least for now. It eases myself if I don't see him this time around."

Another deep silence. This time for around a minute.

"I'm tired, Ginoza-san." Tsunemori finally says, eyes still on her lap.

"Tired of what?" The moment the words escaped my mouth I realized that it was very stupid of me to say that.

"Tired of..." She grabs the hems of her skirt. "Tired of everything."

And all of a sudden teardrops fall into her lap. I realize she is crying but she's trying her best to stop the tears. This is the other side of Tsunemori Akane. She always tried her best to look strong, but here she is, swallowing sobs and wiping her face with her shirt sleeves.

Immediately she stands, and says, "I think I must go, Ginoza-san." Not even able to look me in the eyes. "Thank you and sorry for disturbing you."

She hurries her way to my door and my instincts kick in. I grabbed her right hand and say, "No. Don't go."

She looks back at me with red eyes, "What?"

And I do the thing that I would have never done in my right mind. But the state I'm in now is irrational and let it be that way. I pull her hand and I embrace her in a hug. I pat softly on her head and let her head rests on my chest. I can feel her tenses in shock, but after a few seconds she places her hands on my back and to my surprise, hugs me back.

For around five minutes, we stay like that. Silent and warm, yet comforting. I can feel muscles release the tension. I can feel her tears wetting my sleeveless t-shirt. But I don't care. I just want to be there when Tsunemori needs me.

After a couple of minutes, she releases the hug and looks me in the eyes. I wipe the tears left from her left cheek. She then smiles, which I think it's amazingly cute since she's practically sobbing and smiling in the same time, then blush, then giggles a little. I'm surprised, but I put a dry smile too.

"How magic a hug is," She begins. "I don't know why but I feel so much better."

I smile wider. "You may try not to lift the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. Here," I touch my own shoulder. "You can spare some weight and I'll be ready to lift it for you."

She laughs. "Well, Ginoza-san, I never thought I'd hear that from you."

"Everybody changes through time." I say shortly.

Her face darkens for a moment, but then she looks at me in my eyes. "It's just," She looks down and fixes her gaze on the floor. "Many, many things are going through my mind. Especially _him,_ and..."

She pauses at the moment I wince at the word _"him"_. Kougami Shinya. It must be him. So he's always been on her mind. I feel a pang of jealousy but this is not the right time to be thinking about that.

"...and so many other stuffs." She continues. "And I have no one to talk about that. I don't feel that I can share this to Shion-san, beside, she's very busy. Yayoi-san too, she's a little too quiet. Ever since Yuki is killed in the hands of Makishima Shougo, I don't have any other friend outside this. The other one is getting married so she's probably busy. My grandmother..." She pauses. I can feel her teary-eyes without seeing them. "She is long gone. And I−"

I hug her again. "You have me." I never thought I would be this intimate with Tsunemori, even though I imagined it a little. She stays silent and hugs me back.

She whispers into my ears, "Thank you Ginoza-san."

She smiles, and says, "Thank you so much, Ginoza-san. I'm sorry that I need to leave now. I have to wake up super early tomorrow."

I want to offer her to stay here for the night, but I know it's not the time yet.

"Alright," I say, opening the door for her. "Good night, Inspector."

She pauses for the moment and looks at me, "You can call me Akane outside the office hours, Ginoza-san−"

"Then, 'Gino' would be enough." I add.

She smiles, "Okay then, Gino." And then walks and disappears in the dim halls.

I close the door and turn back to my couch. Calling her first name would be one step closer to her. I smile. Then I laugh. There _is_ a chance for me, and I just realize it now. I don't have to hurry. I just need to stay patient, for Tsunemori's sake. There's no need to rush anything.

Today is a hug. What would tomorrow brings? Or next week? Or next month? I put my hands behind my head and stares into the ceiling. I feel my heart strangely warmed. Hope to see you soon, Akane.

 _The End_


End file.
